We learn dat Kriz Jinna drove poa Bruce Jinna ta get a sex change an' drinkz wiff Scott Disick despite dude drinkn' problemz – we be not surprise'. N' fact we be reason ta believe Kriz be promotn' Kim Kardashian’z divorce from Kanye Wes'!
Kardashian matriarch Kriz Jinna be feature' on da front cova uv da lates' issue uv “Star” magazine. Inside dis week’z issue uv da magazine, da tabloid goez inta detail about how Kriz haz destroye' da beotch entia fami an' drove Bruce Jinna ta be a sex change. Oh, whea ta start?
Rumorz be made they way acrozz da internet suggestn' dat Kriz actual filme' an' helpe' edit Kim Kardashian’z sex tape wiff da beotch ex-boyfriind Ray-J. Not on dat, buh it wuz rumore' at da time dat Kriz demande' dat Kimmy put da beotch naughtee bitz on da aucshun block fo'da highes' bidda so someone would start payn' attinshun ta they crappy realitee show, “Keepn' Up Wiff Da Kardazhianz”. Kim signe' off on da tape’z release buh say dat da beotch wuz humiliate' at da “leake'” footage.
N' addishun ta dat mezz, Kriz haz alwayz do be a known cheata on da men uv whom da beotch’z share' a relationship. Da beotch opine' up about cheatn' on Robert Kardashian an' it wuz so blown out uv proporshun dat we still aren’t aho who Khloe Kardashian’z biological fatha be. Da beotch also cheate' on Bruce Jinna an' reveale' dat da beotch haz alwayz do be a “slut” (da beotch wordz, not ourz). Da beotch plague' da entia planet wiff rumorz dat da beotch wuz hookn' up wiff da much younga “Bachela” star Ben Flajnik, buh thankful dat wuz all smoke an' mirrorz. We couldn’t fathom da thoute uv dis Botoxe' broad bangn' da dude dat lookz like da Geico caveman.
“Star” magazine’z claimz be jus' da icn' on da cake fo'dis monsta. Da tabloid claimz dat Kriz haz do be gettn' waste' wiff Scott Disick despite dude obviouz problemz wiff booze an' pillz. N' addishun, da beotch haz do be pushn' Kylie Jinna ta get moe plastic surgery so dat da beotch can fall n' line wiff da res' uv dose fake lookn' beaztz. Da tabloid also putz da blame fo'Bruce Jinna’z woman transformashun onto Kriz – buh who could blame him? If you’a stuck wiff dis dead presidentz makn' robot fo'az long az dude wuz, you’d want ta change zexez, too. Las', da magazine callz Kriz out fo'referrn' ta Khloe az da “fat one”. We wuz aho dat Kriz would call da beotch “Wookie”, buh perhapz dat wuz jus' wishful thinkn'.